Pouring My Heart Out with Shell~

For the first time (I think) I'm participating in my friend Shell's Pour Your Heart Out. I never thought I really had a heart story that I was willing to tell EVERYONE! Ian reminded me that I do.

Shell says
I hate that I even have to say this, but, whether you are participating or just reading, please keep in mind that the people linking really are sharing something from the heart. So, please, BE RESPECTFUL. We might not agree with each other, but we can all accept someone's right to have a different opinion than we do and NOT attack someone because of this. Play nice. :)

When I first got married I was 16..actually I 16 for 11 days when I got married to my daughters dad. (It's a long story.If your interested in that and my mama and her horns you can read the parts here1, 2, 3 and 4.) We stayed married for almost 12 years and things fell apart. We outgrew one another is what I use to say....now I guess I decided not to love him any more. 

The second time I got married it was to a guy younger than me. We dated 2 years and my kids loved him. He even adopted the youngest. He worked in different states and a lot of things happened and I guess he decided to stop loving me....and get a girlfriend.

The third time...and last! I was looking on yahoo personals...honestly I was looking just to see if I could see anyone I knew. I'm nosey like that. Well to look you have to fill out the questionnaire thingy. I got a flirt or something like that and it was from a guy in a town approx. 35 - 40 minutes South of me. I wasn't paying so I told him he could IM me and we started talking like that. It turns out the one year I went to this little country school that I HATED he was there too and we had never met. This school is tiny. The year he graduated was the largest class and it was like 67 seniors.

So we talked on IM for a while then went to phone calls for a while before I would actually meet him. We had so many things in common and could talk about all of it. I think we talked for about 2 weeks before I would agree to meet him and then it was at a park. It was also set to a time where I knew he needed to be at work in about 30 minutes...I'm very cautious. We laughed and talked and I hated seeing that 30 minutes go by so fast. 

A little less than a month after I got the first message from him we went on a date. We went to Short Smalls and he teased me asking if I was going to get quesidillas. He says all girls eat stuff like that on a first date. I got chicken strips and fries and dipped them in ranch...all with my fingers. I will eat in front of a man,I enjoy it to much!

We dated almost 7 months and I knew I was falling for him. I blogged about my feelings for him and ask my friends (yahoo 360) for advice.(I brought that post to blogger,you can read it here.) I was so scared to tell him how I felt! They all told me to go for it! Little did I know he was reading the post at work! He ask me to marry him that night and it took me a couple days to say yes I was so in shock. I remember I kept saying "I wasn't expecting this." over and over. A couple days later he said "You know you never did say yes or no." I said yes!

We got married and "honeymooned" one night in Little Rock. WooHoo! The next day we loaded vehicles up and moved me in his house in that little town I hated when I was a teen.

It was a nice day and I had my window down,jeep  was loaded down and I cried all the way to his house. I was alone in the jeep. He was in his loaded down truck in front of me and I was told later he cried too. 

I was crying because I was  terrified. I wanted this to work so bad. I was leaving my house and selling it so I knew I had no safety net.

 I was crying because I was happy and had never felt the kind of love I had for him with any one else.

Later that night we were sitting on the couch and we were talking about our ride in and confessing that we both cried and he said the most beautiful thing ever to me. 

He said " It scares me because I know that every decision I make from now on doesn't just affect me and Linzy but you and your daughters too....and your little dog."

I LOVE my man so much!