2 Of My Favorite Men

Oh how I love these two! 

Pouring My Heart Out with Shell~

For the first time (I think) I'm participating in my friend Shell's Pour Your Heart Out. I never thought I really had a heart story that I was willing to tell EVERYONE! Ian reminded me that I do.

Shell says
I hate that I even have to say this, but, whether you are participating or just reading, please keep in mind that the people linking really are sharing something from the heart. So, please, BE RESPECTFUL. We might not agree with each other, but we can all accept someone's right to have a different opinion than we do and NOT attack someone because of this. Play nice. :)

When I first got married I was 16..actually I 16 for 11 days when I got married to my daughters dad. (It's a long story.If your interested in that and my mama and her horns you can read the parts here1, 2, 3 and 4.) We stayed married for almost 12 years and things fell apart. We outgrew one another is what I use to say....now I guess I decided not to love him any more. 

The second time I got married it was to a guy younger than me. We dated 2 years and my kids loved him. He even adopted the youngest. He worked in different states and a lot of things happened and I guess he decided to stop loving me....and get a girlfriend.

The third time...and last! I was looking on yahoo personals...honestly I was looking just to see if I could see anyone I knew. I'm nosey like that. Well to look you have to fill out the questionnaire thingy. I got a flirt or something like that and it was from a guy in a town approx. 35 - 40 minutes South of me. I wasn't paying so I told him he could IM me and we started talking like that. It turns out the one year I went to this little country school that I HATED he was there too and we had never met. This school is tiny. The year he graduated was the largest class and it was like 67 seniors.

So we talked on IM for a while then went to phone calls for a while before I would actually meet him. We had so many things in common and could talk about all of it. I think we talked for about 2 weeks before I would agree to meet him and then it was at a park. It was also set to a time where I knew he needed to be at work in about 30 minutes...I'm very cautious. We laughed and talked and I hated seeing that 30 minutes go by so fast. 

A little less than a month after I got the first message from him we went on a date. We went to Short Smalls and he teased me asking if I was going to get quesidillas. He says all girls eat stuff like that on a first date. I got chicken strips and fries and dipped them in ranch...all with my fingers. I will eat in front of a man,I enjoy it to much!

We dated almost 7 months and I knew I was falling for him. I blogged about my feelings for him and ask my friends (yahoo 360) for advice.(I brought that post to blogger,you can read it here.) I was so scared to tell him how I felt! They all told me to go for it! Little did I know he was reading the post at work! He ask me to marry him that night and it took me a couple days to say yes I was so in shock. I remember I kept saying "I wasn't expecting this." over and over. A couple days later he said "You know you never did say yes or no." I said yes!

We got married and "honeymooned" one night in Little Rock. WooHoo! The next day we loaded vehicles up and moved me in his house in that little town I hated when I was a teen.

It was a nice day and I had my window down,jeep  was loaded down and I cried all the way to his house. I was alone in the jeep. He was in his loaded down truck in front of me and I was told later he cried too. 

I was crying because I was  terrified. I wanted this to work so bad. I was leaving my house and selling it so I knew I had no safety net.

 I was crying because I was happy and had never felt the kind of love I had for him with any one else.

Later that night we were sitting on the couch and we were talking about our ride in and confessing that we both cried and he said the most beautiful thing ever to me. 

He said " It scares me because I know that every decision I make from now on doesn't just affect me and Linzy but you and your daughters too....and your little dog."

I LOVE my man so much!

POST IT NOTE TUESDAY

*EDITED*
I finally got the baby's blog started if anyone is interested it is at
letterstomygrandbaby.blogspot.com


I'm playing along for the first time. If you wanna play go see Supah for details.


click post it for link to site.

The End

SLOPPY SECONDS SATURDAY: From 3 years ago..Lots of things on my mind.

I blogged this probably about 3 years ago to the day and I'm reposting it today as part of Sloppy Seconds Saturday with Supah! 

I wrote it one night and when I was dating Britt and was so so scared to tell him I loved him. I was going to take it down before Britt got off work so he wouldn't see it...little did I know he looked at it at work. I'm going to leave the comments at the end that I received so you can see the advice I got.

I choose this picture cause it looks like I feel....my mind is so full of questions and it looks like I'm pondering them. pon·der (pndr)
v. pon·dered, pon·der·ing, pon·ders
v. tr. To weigh in the mind with thoroughness and care. v. intr. To reflect or consider with thoroughness and care.

Man! Today lasted 24 hours! I can usually do a house in 2 hours, a big one in 3 or 4 if noones home to stop me because they wanna visit. This place today is big and she was at home but I got there at 9am and didn't leave til after 4:30! I was working the whole time, she has alot of company coming in for Homecoming. In my town Homecoming is a big deal for people that went to UAPB. I'll be seeing those Golden Lions flying on all the cars this weekend! Oh well it felt real good to get home today!

The weather here has been just stupid! First it gets cold and I'm all worried about not having gas. Then it rains like it hasn't in forever and now it's 80 degrees! Creepy spooky weather, remember when we had seasons? It is suppose to be cold during the state fair,you should have to wear a coat at night. Not us! I'm telling ya something is happening. Don't know what or when or even where but it is....

I'm going to the game this weekend!! Were playing Ole Miss at Fayetteville. I have never gone to a game so I'm excited!!!!!!

I said I had things on my mind and I've been pondering them. You ever feel like you just don't know which way to turn? I started thinking about one thing and something else will creep up and poke me on my shoulder. Then I'll have 2 things on my mind and lately it seems like I have 100 things! I won't go into all of them and bore ya'll to death!

I will say I'm missing Kelly really bad. She's going to be moving into another part of Lexington and I wanna go see her and Michael so bad. I'd like to go the weekend of Thanksgiving but it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to right now. I haven't even told her I was trying to so she's learning that here....Hi Baby!! I'm not gonna give up though, I'll just be praying harder for this to happen.

Another thing is my last blog....He doesn't get off work til 11pm and won't get home til 12am so maybe ya'll can help me out before then and I can erase this part.

I have been in love before, twice as a matter of fact. The first time was my first love and it lasted a long time before we...hell grew apart or whatever you wanna call it. (what would you call it Jim?) Your first love is something you never ever forget especially me since it gave me 2 beautiful daughters. It being the first love...I'm not calling Jim an it, might have at one time but not now! LOL!! No really were friends,tell'em Jim.

The second time...well I don't think I loved him when I married him and once I started to love him, it was to late. The 1st love was all young and giddy, heck I was 13 when I met him and 16 when we got married. The 2nd was more like security I guess. That's really the only way I know to describe it.

What I'm feeling now...It's not like either one of those. It's both of those and so so much more. Both of us have been hurt and we both wanted to go slow. We have been dating 7 months and we've talked about what we want, we want the same things. Neither one of us has mentioned love. I sit and wonder if I tell Britt I love him what will he do? What if he doesn't feel like that? What if I scare the hell out of him and he runs off? Should I wait andsee if hesays it first? I think he knows, hell he should! I feel like he has strong feelings for me. He does alot of things that shows his feelings but he doesn't voice them. AH!

Ya'll help me out! What do I do? Keep my mouth shut and wait? Tell him how I feel and see where that goes? I feel like if I don't tell him that I'm going to explode!!

I've honestly never felt like this....I don't know what to do! OK we have 3 hours....help me out my friends!

Kelly I Love You!!!!!

Britt

 OK I went to copy paste the comments and there is like 36 comments...to much to copy on this post so if your interested in what people told me to do click HERE!

Here's the video response I posted a day later telling how he reacted.