Thursday, May 28, 2009


originally post in Sept. of 2006





~~ In October of 1992 I started working at Tyson Foods, Some months later Jim was approved for S. S. disability and the girls were going to this little country school down the road. Working at Tyson was hard! I worked at night and it was rough not seeing the girls like I was use to. Nikki was 8 and Kelly 6.

Things between Jim and I were different than they had ever been. It was like we lived 2 different lives. (Now remember this is the way I perceived things) We seemed to argue about everything. I felt like I was a robot going through the motions of a life. Jim would wake me up at noon every day and I'd eat and get ready to go back to work. At Tyson you work at least 6 days a week and that was if you were lucky!

Life went on like this until October of 1993. I found myself working even more and volunteering to work so I wouldn't have to be home. When I was there it was just constantly arguments between Jim and I. Then the rumors started at work that I was dating someone there. Anyone who works in a plant or workplace where men and women work together know how this starts. You smile at someone and it seems like your all the sudden fooling around, at least thats what they say.... Well supposedly someone called my house while I was at work and told Jim I was having an affair. It wasn't true!

After the phone call things really started going down hill. I had to leave work so much because I would be called home. It finally got to a point that I felt like me and the girls would be happier alone. They wouldn't be hearing their daddy and I fight all the time and be crabby alot. I told Jim I wanted a divorce. At that point in my life that was the hardest thing I ever did. Things had gotten so bad I didn't like him any more and I didn't want to hate him. I wanted to be able to get along even if it was only for the girls sake.

Jim moved back to Reno and the girls and I started a different way of living.We had our own home next door to my mom and dad but they were at my mamas alot because of the hours I worked. We went on like this for several years. Eventually Jim moved back to Arkansas and got remarried. The girls liked his wife and I was grateful for that because I'd hate to think they would go over there and hate being there.

I'm not even sure what year I'm at here but I think it's around 1996, Jim and I have been divorced 2 years, He's remarried and the girls have adjusted well to our split.

Stay tuned for the next part!

Friday, May 22, 2009


**originally posted 9-20-2006

107 magnify

~~~Around Easter of 1988 Jim and my father in law went ahead to Reno to find a house and for jobs. The girls and I stayed behind with my mother in law. I had been married for almost 5 years and this was the first time I had been away from Jim for to long of a period. Harvey (my father in law) came back to get us sometime around July(I think) to move to Reno. Telling my mama goodbye was so hard! I remember driving off and having to stop around the curve cause I was crying so hard I couldn’t see.

We packed up the Uhaul and set off for Reno, with 2 babies. WHEW! That was a trip I’ll never forget. It doesn’t take kids long to get bored with riding. We stopped in Albuquerque for the night to sleep and got up early the next morning. I vaguely remember Kelly throwing a fit in Arizona at the place we stopped to eat. I’m sure she got a spanking although I don’t remember. That was a long trip and I was so happy to see Reno.

When we got to Reno Jim was at work and when he came home things seemed “different”. He had been in Reno for months more or less living the single life and catching up with old friends. (He grew up in Reno) I felt so alone but was determined to make our marriage work. We had a rough few months or so and I almost went home so many times but we worked it out.

We got our own place and was paying 600.00 dollars a month for a 2 bedroom apartment…they said condo but it was an apartment! Remember this is 1988 and we left Arkansas paying like 250.00 dollars for a 2 bedroom house! Nikki started kindergarten and Kelly and I would walk her to and from school every day. This was the first time Kelly and I actually had some one on one time and I was enjoying it.

Jim got hurt while we lived in Reno and had to have back surgery. We stayed in Reno for 3 years with a brief trip back to Arkansas for a few months. We finally moved back to Arkansas for good in 1991. I remember getting back home and mama had 2 little puppies waiting on the girls when we pulled up. They named them Cocoa and Pepper.

I have so many memories of the girls it is hard to decide which ones to share. I remember one where we had a swing from the Oak tree, it was just rope and a board to sit on. It was Nikki’s turn to swing and Kelly slung the swing at her and busted her eye BAD! I was so scared the school would think she was being abused and call SCAN. Nikki heard me telling mama this and when she came home from school the next day she said “ Mama don’t worry, I told the teacher you didn’t hit me in the eye with the swing.” Now did that sound like she was coached or what?

Kelly was always hardheaded! It got her into more trouble than any one child ought to get into! I have actually had to put cold water on her face to calm her screaming down. It was so loud and it cut through you like a knife. One time I put her in her bedroom for not minding and she screamed for so long and so loud. My brother ask me if I was gonna check on her and I told him NO, I’m scared her head will be spinning around and around!!!!!

Nikki almost never got in to trouble and usually if she did it was because she’d tell on herself. One time I heard a blood curling scream from Kelly and ran to see what was wrong. When I got in there Nikki looked at me terrified and said “mama I didn’t hit her in the head with that baby doll!” pointing at the doll. I knew exactly what had happened.

There’s a lot more stories when they got older but I’ll save them for later.

It’s around October of 1992, the girls are in school, Jim’s fighting for social security disability and life seems to be going on….

Stay tuned for ~ The Beginning of the End ~

Saturday, May 16, 2009


*originally posted 09-19-2006* Read PART 1 and PART 2

~~1985, We moved so much that year, Back and forth between Rison, Pine Bluff and Sheridan. This is the year we decided to have another baby. We didn’t care what we had but we knew it was gonna be named Kelly either way. I still have the notebook(found it the other day) where Jim and I laid in bed and was trying to figure out names . You can see in the notebook where we decided on Kelly Lee-Ann but wasn’t sure on the spelling.
I remember the day of February 22, 1986, Jim, Nikki and I went to Nan’s and visited. I think Nikki went to sleep or something and Jim and I went riding around on the tractor. Oh what fun you have in Rison!! Well that ride must have upset the baby because she decided to come into the world that night, about 2 weeks early. I was glad! That child stayed on my rib for months!! This delivery was so different than the first. I got so paranoid with the epidural and just knew the hospital was gonna catch fire. I figured since I was dead from the waist down I’d be left in there! Funny how medication can affect you in different ways.
Jim was in the room when she was born also, Everyone said he came out and said “I got a white one this time!” Kelly was a little over 7 lbs. with light skin and blonde hair. She was also most beautiful! I always wanted two kids and now I had them. Kelly was not only different in skin and hair coloring than Nikki but they were totally different in every way.
It’s hard to think of memories of Kelly by herself because she always had Nikki. I do know she was always one up on Nikki, Kelly had her bluff in at an early age. She’s a very strong willed person even to this day. I don’t know if I’ve ever told her but I admire her for that. She can also be very passionate and loving.
I remember when she was around 2 she was eating a cookie and got choked, I was at work, Jim shook her til her color came back and the cookie flew across the floor. He then called Nan to come get her cause it scared him so bad. I had to go get her after I got home. She had long blonde hair on the sides and the back of her head and bald on top. LOL She looked like a little old man, bald mouth and head!!
Well were up to around late 1987, We were living in Rison and thinking about moving to Reno…
Stay tuned for ~A whole new way of living ~

Well were up to around late 1987, We were living in Rison and thinking about moving to Reno
Stay tuned for ~A whole new way of living ~

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

TTT (Ten Thought Tuesday)

1. I love every other only day other than Sat I have off!

2. Today at the gym I ran...ok walked a mile with a bit of jogging and worked the circuit. YAY me!

3. I learned how to make ponytail holders...I love them and it is addicting. Of course they are in my etsy.

4. We had rain...again. Everything is wet and trees are just tumping left and right. A man fell asleep and ran off the side of the road down from my house, the Saline River is so flooded that is where his car landed. He bailed out but the lady with him didn't. They recovered her body the next day.

5. Kelly will be here in a couple weeks! approx. 15 or 16 days. She will know the exact days!

6. School is almost out!

7. I'm wondering about my friend Rhondas daughter Hannah... anyone know anything?

8. Who do you want to win on Idol? (If you watch Idol.) I like Kris of course but not just because he lives in Arkansas, I think he has some talent. I like Danny also, Adam I'm not so crazy about...he can sing but comes across so fake to me.

9. What about Survivor? JT is my favorite but I also like long as Coach DOES. NOT. WIN. I'll be happy.

10. Ok all the sudden I am struggling for another thought, I know I have one..I have many. Ummmm, I think I'll go get a shower. Later Gaters!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009



Nikki's 1st Easter in 1984

Jim and I had a small wedding in my front yard. My Aunt Margaret made our cake and it was so pretty….til we put it outside in August. It was white with yellow and blue frosting which melted and turned into green tie dye like lines, actually it was still pretty. I moved in with Jim in his apartment and we started playing house. Did a pretty good job at it too.
Within a few months we moved in with my mom and dad, I was pregnant and Jim just started working for the Department of Corrections. We were able to get our own place again before the baby was born. My Dr. said the baby would be here around August 4th , my birthday, I was so excited! In February I got sick and was in the worst pain in my life. I went to the hospital and the Dr. said I needed an emergency appendectomy. Here I am 4 months pregnant, my husband at work, my mama having to sign forms that they could do the surgery and I wasn’t really even very scared cause I was in so much pain. I was just scared I was gonna lose the baby. When I woke up from surgery first thing I did was ask Jim about the baby, he said the baby was fine! This is also when I found out I was allergic to ivory soap….99.9% pure and I’m allergic to it!
I remember on July 1st Jim, my brothers and I were playing around in the water and having bottle rocket fights. When we went home that night I started having pains and realized Man this is really happening! We went to a payphone and called my Dr. and he said “Go to the hospital and I’ll meet you there.” I never did see him until 2 days later.
I gave birth to a 5lb. 81/2 oz. baby girl! She was beautiful, she had dark hair and looked like she had spent 9 months in a tanning bed cause she had the prettiest skin. (She’s still beautiful and has the same pretty skin color!) Jim was in there with me when she was born. She was due August but I guess decided to come on out and join the fun!
We named her Vanessa Nicole AKA Nikki and she was one little spoiled girl! She was the first grandchild on both sides so she got a lot of attention. We called her Monkey for a long time then it changed to “The Kid”. Nikki was a really good baby, even potty trained herself! She loved Madonna and Prince, she would sing “Like a virgin” every time it came on the radio. Somehow she knew when it was 2pm and would come running in the room yelling “Luke and Laura mommy!” (General Hospital) Two years old and I had my kid watching soaps! Normally she would only watch commercials and play during the movies. Now days she flips thru commercials so fast it makes my head spin!
This is ending in 1985, We had a healthy beautiful baby girl, Jim had a good job and we were a happy family.
Stay tuned in for the next chapter “Hold On! Here Comes Kelly!”
nikki & daisy
All grown up and still pretty as ever!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Remember when youTHOUGHT you were grown? (PART 1)


Jim and I 08-15-1982
Dad in the background

This is a re-post for all my old friends. I wanted to post it again for my new friends. It was originally posted 09-17-06 on Yahoo 360, anyone remember that ghost/friend?
When I was around 9 years old my mom and “real” dad got a divorce. I remember coming home from school and all of our stuff was packed up. Mama said Nolan (my “real” dad, I’ll be using his first name) was going to help my grandparents and we were going to her mamas…my memaws. At the time I felt like my world had crashed down around me. I now know it was the right thing for mama to do and she never said anything bad about Nolan to us, we learned all the bad on our own.

For about three years it was just mama, me and the boys. We went through a lot of hard times but learned from them and I thought and still think my mama was Superwoman! In 1979 my mama met the man who she’s married to now. He is the dad you would hand pick for yourself if you could, we were lucky! We also gained a brother and a sister when they got married.

Around March of 1980 we moved to Rison. (Mama says that’s the armpit of Arkansas) I hated Rison School with a passion. I felt like I had been picked up and dropped in Hell! In Rison is also where I met my daughter’s father. We lived down this little gravel road and my brothers and I was walking down the road and ran into Jim. I remember telling my sister that same night I was going to marry him when I grew up. I was 13 years old and thought I was grown of course! Jim ask me “to go” with him a month or so later and I didn’t hate Rison so much any more.

Jim and I argued a lot! When I was 15 he started acting different and I had a friend take me to his house he wasn’t there. We went to some apartments where I knew he had friends and his car was there. I looked in the car and it had boxes of girls stuff in it,he had moved this chick in with him! I went ahead and knocked on the door and when he came to it I just gave him his promise ring back. We talked on the balcony for awhile and decided we could be friends. (Yeah right) I wanted to push him off that balcony so bad!

Well in a few weeks Jim started calling me a lot. Him and ***** were fighting and they broke up. I was sneaking behind mamas back to go see him. I had walked through the woods one day to meet him down at the store and while we were sitting there mama drove up! She told Jim to go home and told me to walk home and she’d deal with me when she got home. She was so mad and we were so scared! (You know you were Jim!)

I remember sitting at home waiting for mama to get home and wishing she would hurry up and get it over with and at the same time hoping she wouldn’t get there any time soon. When she walked in she looked at me and said “If you think I’m such a monster with horns, you can marry that boy and see if he can make you happy!”

That was August 8, 1980 we were married August 15th and I had just turned 16 on the 4th of the month.

I never thought my mama was a monster with horns!

Part 2 is coming...just scroll